According to The Pew Research Center, most Americans “networks contain a range of social ties that consist of friends, family, coworkers, and other acquaintances. This includes a handful of very close social ties and a much larger number of weaker ties.” In fact, the average Internet user has 669 social ties. 
That’s important research for generating word-of-mouth referrals.
So how does my personal network operate? Maybe not like you think. Whether I’m online or offline, I don’t quibble about whether I’m rewarded for sharing my knowledge, experience and passion. I learn a great deal by engaging with different people, disciplines and cultures. I assume that the people I encounter know more than 
me and can teach me something. Even the friction of reconciling conflicting perspectives and opinions is invigorating. Having a reciprocal listening style creates connection and social currency and from that comes greater visibility online. That’s how I cultivate a relevant and robust network. My mindset assumes abundance not scarcity.
Worry not that no one knows you, seek to be worth knowing. —Confucius
…Most of us aren’t very strategic when it comes to the best way to take advantage of the enormous potential of our own social networks.
- Job hunting. In a 1973 landmark study called, The Strength of Weak Ties, Mark Granovetter of John Hopkins University, found that the best leads for job opportunities are more likely to come from your more distant acquaintances (weak ties) rather than your close friends (strong ties). Why? As explained by Cornell professors, David Easley and Jon Kleinberg in Networks, Crowds, and Markets, “The closely-knit groups that you belong to, though they are filled with people eager to help, are also filled with people who know roughly the same things that you do.” The point: our distant acquaintances have the ability to expose you to job openings that you and your friends just can’t know about.
- Deal flow. Venture capital firms that share details about investment strategy secure access to more opportunities that they would otherwise. The research published in the Harvard Business Review shows that these VCs “more than make up for whatever competitive edge they lose by giving outsiders a peek at what they’re up to.” The point: top-performing VCs are using social media to discuss the “very information they once held close to the vest” in order to leverage weak ties to improve deal flow.
- B2B professional services. Think about generating new business in the B2B space or expensive purchases. In The Unexpected Way To Use Your Social Network Strategically, Don Pepper counsels that “if you use a straight-ahead business-development plan, you’ll develop a laundry list of leads and opportunities to be followed up. While this can be useful, the truth is that a great deal of such business comes in via the referral of others. And how can you increase your access to such referrals? You guessed it–by concentrating on your weak ties, rather than on your strong ties. By developing your own network of industry colleagues and blog or Twitter followers, for instance, you get access to their connections with others.” The idea is to arm your weak-tie prospects “with the tools necessary to appeal to their own networks.”
- Brown-nosing. Stop the brown-nosing. As Pepper points out, “it’s long been thought that the best way to get ahead is to hitch your wagon to a senior star” but Professor Burt’s book, Neighbor Networks, debunks this myth. Burt suggests that there’s “no advantage at all to having well-connected friends.” According to Burk and Pepper you’re better off developing and maintaining a diverse range of relationships to ensure healthy, stimulating “exposure to diverse ideas and behaviors.”
Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them. —A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)
Cordell Parvin says
December 17, 2012 at 7:32 AMKevin when I practiced law, every new matter that came my way started with a recommendation by a “weak tie” relationship. In 1983, I received a call from the GC of what turned out to be my largest client. When I asked how he had found me, I was told that a government lawyer who had been on a panel with me in Washington, DC had recommended me. That was one example. Years later when a bridge collapsed and I received a call from the state secretary of transportation, I asked how he had found me. He told me a well know bridge designer had recommended me.
When I teach lawyers, I share that one key to their success is to increase the number and deepen the strength of their “weak tie” relationships. It was important for me and remains important to lawyers today.
Kevin McKeown says
December 17, 2012 at 1:01 PMThanks for the comment, Cordell. Did you personally know the bridge designer? Your comment underscores an important question every professional should be asking at the appropriate time in an engagement: How did you find out about me? The answer is worth the weight of gold.
R. David Donoghue says
December 17, 2012 at 8:02 AMWell said Kevin. Anyone who blogs, tweets or Facebooks for a period of time can see their weak-ties network grow enormously. Mine certainly has since I started blogging six years ago.
And while I tend to refer work to closer ties (although not just close ties), as I look back on it the most effective help with finding ties new positions is with weak ties. And that has to be because my close ties and I know many of the same people, making it harder to make new connections for them.
Far too often lawyers are dismissive of the value of creating and cultivating weak ties because they have less immediate business development pay-off. Hopefully, your post will turn some of those people around on the issue.
Kevin McKeown says
December 17, 2012 at 1:05 PMDave, thanks for the comment. Do you have a specific example of a weak tie helping you generate new business or sign a new client? Just curious. BTW, I fixed a minor type in your comment. That’s the reason for “Edited by a moderator.”
R. David Donoghue says
December 21, 2012 at 7:44 PMKevin, My favorite examples of the power of weak ties come from blogging. On several occasions I have been hired by in-house lawyers at large companies that have been readers for months or years. We were not close, but I stayed top of mind with them through the blog leading to work.
Kevin McKeown says
December 26, 2012 at 7:37 PMThese days the best way to build “professional visibility” is through strategic, consistent, online social networking. Your blog exemplifies all of the above. Thank you for sharing such a salient, real life example for how to capitalize on weaker social ties via blogging. HNY, Kevin
Melissa Beck Hoff says
December 17, 2012 at 12:44 PMThis is a great point–and not necessarily intuitive. Many of my own opportunities in life, from job openings to new clients to new friends, have come to me by way of a weak tie. In addition to the good point made about the value of new perspectives, I also think that those closest to you are sometimes not inclined to mix a business relationship with a personal relationship. It can be easier (and less risky) to engage with someone a step or two removed from your inner circle. This is a great article with lots of food for thought.
Patty Nowak says
April 5, 2013 at 11:32 AMWell said.
The world is so big yet so small. This reminds me a bit of six degrees of separation. We are all connected in some way and you never know who you will run into or help out in the future.
It is important to not only build your network but also maintain and nourish the people in your network because you never know who one day you might be working for.