“Listening To Learn” Is Learning To Listen

Shut up and listen.

Not you.

Me.

I can’t believe how often I blow the opportunity to help someone because I’m “listening” for an opening to articulate my thought or idea. That’s not listening. That’s one-way broadcasting masquerading as listening.

I’m not alone. The average person listens at only about 25% efficiency.

Two observations:

One

In business, when I ask a person to help me understand their priorities and the pain they encounter trying to realize those priorities, I score a blueprint for apprehending how to create a meaningful connection with that person around “value” as they perceive value — not how I might perceive value. That’s gold but this only happens when I listen to learn.

When what we are listening for is the chance to articulate our message, we run the risk of missing the sound of opportunity.  —Eric Fletcher

Two

The people that I most admire take the time to listen and make sense of the river of conversation before they talk. These people digest the subtle hues, shades and textures that make dialogue so nuanced. This investment of time creates credibility and influence that is long-lasting.

Note to self:

The ability to solve a problem or fulfill a need for family, friends, teammates, clients or prospects is limitless when I “zip it.” The seeds of two-way communication are self-awareness and empathy. That’s the safest path to deeper relationships both on and offline.

Here’s an example of “zip it” gone wrong:http://www.youtube.com/embed/fK8mneO8yvU?feature=oembed

How often do you listen for the chance to deliver your message versus listening to learn?

P.S. My dog, Viggo, is a great listener. Dr. Evil not so much…

Related Link: Active listening – Key Steps To Succeed (PDF)